Some time ago, prior to publication, , I posted lengthy excerps and invited site visitors to read, rate and comment. Following is a representative sampling of their impressions. Please note that that the novel was formerly titled "Manor House" when these comments were posted. The basic story hasn't changed, just the title.

madcow I don't know if swearing is allowed here, so I'll refrain... This is utterly fantastic. The writing is all completely solid with nary a stumble. I don't remember stumbling over a single passage. The plot is great...partly in due to your great pacing. Details are doled out on just the pace I wanted them most. Excellent. One thing just finish sinking in and you'd interrupt my inner voice saying "so what next?" with what's next. The POV? Bullseye. You know, as I was nearing the end I was trying to think of what I could complain about, and I started to think about suggesting a lack of characterization. I'm reading while thinking this, so it hits me just as I finish my thought that I was the character. Great great stuff. The only possible, theoretical, worst case scenario is that the lack of supplied characterization hurts motivations later in the story as another poster suggested. But as long as the main character doesn't do anything morally repugnant (how do you judge this? I know, it's not fair, but you have to try) then I will happily read along enjoying every second of being immersed in this interesting story. This is a book I would read. (period)

riverogue This isn't the first time I've sampled this amazing piece. The voice works, the set up works, the whole thing engages me but it does read like a game...which it is. Still, though it reads like a game, it also reads sufficiently like a novel to keep me reading. Now the website gives me a taste of what this is REALLY. It's a fasinating meld of what can happen when imagination and technology meet but I'm not certain how comfortable I would be reading it completely in print. On paper. It has the feel of a script needing electronic life. What about an alternatrive like the lavishly illustrated 'Giffin' books? No (I'm answering my own question here); the web/device technology is the best platform for this richly inventive tale. Somebody needs to get this marketed and into production.

Frost Let me hit some high points: There are good descriptions and many clever turns of phrase. The BBC-mockumentary segment is especially well-done. I can clearly visualize McCabe's doorman uniforms arrayed in a "multicolored fan." The setup of Uncle Arthur as a slightly mysterious eccentric worked great in this excerpt. 'We will bottle no wine before it's time...which is leap-day.' Before you get to that, it's clear he's rich and odd, and this just nails it. You've got a nearly-ideal mix of humor and mystery. Despite the unusual 2nd person voice of the work, this actually succeeds in evoking an empathic reaction. That's hard to do well in regular prose, and probably doubly difficult in this style. Congratulations. The thoughts of the protagonist are set up in a way that the jumps he takes seem perfectly logical for someone in that situation. Some other comments: I paused about 80% of the way through this to guess what you'd do with the sealed envelope. I made the assumption that it would not be opened - that he'd take it with him, allowing further pondering and mystery later, possibly with some ultimate revelation after the main action is resolved. I couldn't think of a 'hook' good enough to justify opening it at this time. I'm on the fence about whether or not you handled this as well as it could be handled. The contents of the envelope work for the story, however, so there's no criticism on this point. Despite all the good wording, there are still a few sentences that need work. Here's an example that struck me as particularly awkward: "What you do see, again, is that small, disturbing envelope whose seal something prevents you from breaking just yet." After the third read I understood exactly what you meant and how the noun/verb agreement was set up, but it needs improvement. Lastly...I'm impressed. I wouldn't consider tackling something like this, but it seems to be working here. It's clear that changing everything to "you" has taken what would otherwise be a well-written but well-worn mystery opening and turned it into something a lot more compelling. Does that make it more or less saleable? Don't look at me, but good luck with it!